Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies...

Seriously, boys, are you all dumbasses?! Why? What is the reasoning behind this? The sooner someone explains this to me, the better.

Clearly, I need to vent, and you're all going to read it. I was talking to one of my friends the other day when she told me that one of my "ex-things" decided to tell her his version (and I stress "his version") of our little "situation." Yes, there are a lot of " " 's " going on here, I know. Quotations basically sum up my dating life. I've learned to live with it.

A little catch-up. This is a guy who seriously messed with me for a significant amount of time a couple years ago. Everything started right before I almost moved to Atl (obvs didn't happen) and continued on for months after that. We have a few mutual friends, but apparently, this douchelord hasn't gotten the memo that this one girl friend and I...wait for it...actually talk to each other! Shocking, huh. So, he (thinking she had no clue about anything that went on for some reason) took it upon himself to tell her why we are no longer on speaking terms with his backup story that he must have pulled out of his non-existent ass. This is a real GD hoot! Get your popcorn folks...

He had the f'n nerve to tell her that I basically started everything and he constantly told me that he didn't want any part of it. 100% made it out to be like I begged to hook up with him while he had to push me off. See, that's just super cute to me because he brought his friends out to specifically meet me one night where they told me that he talked about what a big crush he had on me...that I was all he talked about and he later told me that it was true, and eventually this thing started up. Another kicker about that whole peachy story of his is that he was the one offering to crash at my place sometimes, or inviting me to his place!!! He'd be the one with the "we should hang out again" crap. Not all the time, but most of the time(see that statement right there? that's me being honest - look it up.) Real clear that I was the one forcing him to be with me, isn't it? Instead, he plays it off to my friend like we only hooked up once or twice and then never again. um, WHAT?! This is seriously what he's telling people??

The next amazing part of make-believe story time was him telling her that we stopped all contact back before the holidays. Really asshole? Because I'm pretty sure you asked to crash at my place after a party in January one night where I made you fucking dinner....guess that could slip anyone's mind though, right? (Yes, I'm aware that was a stupid move on my part after everything, but forget about that right now.) Oh, oh and the reason he gave her for why we, sorry I stopped all communication was completely wrong. Could not be more wrong!! He told her it was because I always got so mad at him all the time about who he was hanging out with. Ya know, not the years of bullshit lies he fed me, or years of him telling me how awful I am, or picking fights with me for being friends with his friends, or bitching me out after I poured my heart out to him...none of that could have been building up at all or lead to me finally snapping, could it...MOFO!!

I mean, seriously, tell me why you idiots do this? Do you really think that a) this info does not get back to us or b) that anyone would believe that?!?!?!?! Newsflash: everyone knows what went on and everyone knows that you are a giant douchebag. Not for nothing, but I also don't even get why he feels the need to tell a story that is soooooo so far off from the truth?? What is the point of this...so that he looks good in everyone's eyes? Grow the hell up. I'm very aware when I act like a crazy idiot in "relationships/things/whatevers" and I have no problem admitting it. Why? For 3 reasons: 1) because everyone acts like an idiot or a crazy person at some point. 2) because I realize it and don't need everyone to kiss my ass and 3) BECAUSE I'M AWESOME!!

I think the best part of all of this is that after he told her all of these lies he told her that he thought of me as "an awesome sister" and that he really missed my sense of humor. Seriously dude....screw you. You should have thought of that when you treated me like trash.

Okay, there. I'm done. If anything, hearing all of this helps me to realize what a friggin' lying sack of shit jerk he actually is. My friend put it perfectly...I really dodged a bullet with this one.

ASSHOLE! Okay, no, seriously, I'm done now.

Cheers!