Finally A Good Blind Date - SIKE!

Of the million dates that I've been set up on, I finally hit a good match. I was set up by one of Jasmine's friends, who doesn't really know me, so I thought it was pretty funny that he was almost right on target. He took me to dinner at this super yummy restaurant in the LES and then we just walked a few blocks into a bar for a couple of drinks afterwards - we had a great time and we were both talking about seeing each other again. Orrrr maybe I'm completely clueless when it comes to dating. You be the judge and let me know if I'm totally nuts...

So, this guy, we will call him "The BS-er." He friended me on facebook and we started messaging back and forth for about a week before we met (apparently, this is how people start dating now). He was really personable and, for once, the first questions were not "So, what do you do?" This was rather refreshing since I hate to talk about work. I hate how I have to wear my resume on my sleeve everytime I meet someone new. Enough already. Okay, sorry, back to the date...

He picks this cute restaurant and I meet up with him at 7:30. The conversation is flowing nicely. We seemed to have similar backgrounds, we had a lot in common, there were lots of laughs, etc. etc. He was very well mannered, which I'm a sucker for. Then he told me that his goal is to take one European vacation and one tropical vacation a year and I. Was. SOLD! HA! However, that is neither here nor there. After dinner he picks up the check and of course, I offered to split it (even though he would have been totally dismissed if he let me haaaa) and he said that I could pick up the check next time we go out. Hmm, ok, whatever.

So then we're sitting there and he asked if I wanted to go get a couple drinks and I was totally down. I figured this was a good sign because whenever I'm on a trash date I would never offer to get another drink or agree to go after dinner - I'd peace the hell out! We walked a couple of blocks into a bar (he totally moved me to the inside of the sidewalk when we were walking too...it was almost like he read my book of requirements before we met, seriously) and chilled there until MIDNIGHT. We were chatting away and he didn't let me pay for anything (I swear I tried to for real this time) and kept saying things like "next time we hang out..." and "we'll do this..." Once we realized what time it was we decided to head out and he offered to drive me home. It was kind of out of his way, so I said I could take a cab, but he insisted. Clearly, this was going well (I thought).

Once we pulled up to my apt, there may or may not have been a slight MO session for a bit. Then I went up to my apt like a good girl. A bit later he texts me and says "Hey, I'm home. I had a great time with you tonight." The next morning we were joking around on facebook, so, silly me, I was thinking that these were all good signs.

Ummmm right. I didn't hear from BS-er for the next few days which I thought was a little strange. However, we went out on a Wednesday and I knew the upcoming weekend was his birthday, so I figured he might be busy with family and friends, etc. Then I thought about my bible, "He's Just Not That Into You" and I started getting a little (a LOT) annoyed. I texted him on his birthday to say HBD and he didn't get back to me until the next day and it was just "thanks, just got this - was busy all day." Fuck. That.

Now I was just plain PISSED. I literally went over the date about 40 times in my head - cause that's what girls do - and could not think of one possible thing or sign that would indicate he did not want to see me again (since I'm awesome). So I shot BS-er a facebook message, which I probably shouldn't have done, but whatever, he needed to be called out, and not like I was gonna see him again apparently! I basically asked him what the deal was and he said that he thought of me more on a friends level. REALLY?! Then don't tell me you want to see me again, don't make out with me, don't text me when you get home, and don't be all cute the next day on facebook (again, cause that's how people date now). In other words, if we're on a date and you're "not that into me" - DON'T BULLSHIT ME!!

I was totally baffled by this one. He reminded me of this other crapbag I was involved with back in the day that couldn't handle the idea of someone being mad at him, or telling the truth to someone incase it makes themselves look bad(I'll get to that story someday). Guess what idiots, you look even worse when you bullshit around!!

I had no idea what went on and I basically decided that I have totally had it with dating. I thought I could tell a good date from a bad date, but apparently I am not cut out for this game. I didn't see Jasmine's friend until about a month ago at their wedding and she told me that he said that he made more conversation than I did. Another BS comment from the BS-er....

South Beach Research

So, it's been awhile since I've posted, I know, but I'm back in action!

I was in South Beach this past weekend for a few days with the girls from high school. We try to do a yearly girls trip and we typically end up in Vegas, but after the last time, I think we all got a little Vegas'd (yes, it's a word) out. We decided to try something new and head to Miami.

The guys in Miami...gross and awful. We all go out Friday night and are minding our own business when these 2 guys approach us - from Jersey (enough said). They seemed fairly normal, so we weren't too bothered by them. I think they may have bought us drinks, so ya know, we had to pretend to like them for a bit. Ha...girls are such bitches. So after a few, one guy is totally flirting with one of my friends and he then goes around the table and discovers that, naturally, I am the only single one out of the 5 of us. He walks away and a few minutes later he comes back and pulls me up to the dance floor. This had BS written all over it. I knew I was chosen by default and that just doesn't sit well with me. As we're dancing...

Me: So since I'm the only single one, that's why you pull me to dance?
Jersey Trash: Yeah...what's wrong with that?
Me: Just a few things...
Jersey Trash (trying to cover his ass): You should meet up with us later...let me get your number.

Right. I gave him my number, and I walked back to my table. Excuse me, but he just told me I was second best...actually 5th best. Call me crazy, but I see a big fat ass problem with that. He texted later and that was ignored. Douche.

After that round of dudes left, we noticed another group of OLD men lingering around us. They were smoking cigars right in our faces and we were getting disgusted. They attempted to talk to one of us and mentioned that they were taking pictures of one of us and showed them to us. These creepsters were watching us all night! Things got ugly after this. We started yelling at them, they started blowing their cigar smoke right in our faces and being assholes. This went on for the rest of the night and we got security involved. We were pretty drunk at this point, so we started collecting drinks and put them off to the side. Our plan was to dump them on these guys as we were walking out. Yeah, that's how bad it was. Once we came to our senses a bit, we decided against that idea because these creepers were so bad that they probably would have followed us and murdered us or something.

The next night we went to LIV and had a BLAST! But not before we noticed some guy in a striped shirt following us around. He was by himself too. Come to think of it, there were tons of guys that were out by themselves. I find that to be super weird, and again, CREEPY. Anyways, apparently this one dude was all up on my friends shit all night and when she went to the bathroom he budged right behind her and tried to go in with her! WTF???? Security grabbed him and tossed him out, thank goodness. After we lost him, we found normal people and danced our booties off all night.

Honestly though, where did these Miami men come from???? I thought South Beach was supposed to be swanky and high class? The places were really fun, but the people that surround these spots were just RIDIC!

At the end of the weekend, we all agreed to never stray from Vegas again. I don't know what I was thinking when I said I was sick of it. Vegas 2011 - here we come!!!

Deep Thoughts by Laine B

- I've had a lot of people offer to set me up on dates lately, mainly my old neighbors, and I've politely declined. Want to know why? Because I'm exhausted, that's why. Every single blind date that I've been set up for has not gone well and I just don't think that's the answer to my singleness. Only one date...ONE...was acceptable and actually met most of my standards and he didn't like me! That's an awesome story that I'm not ready to write about yet, but I will soon. Don't worry. So anyways, yeah, unless it's someone AWESOME, I'm not willing to take any chances at the moment. However, I am not really accomplishing much by sitting on my duff either...hmmmm...

- If I ever get married, I'll end up having a shit ton of bridesmaids because I won't want to leave anyone out. Although, it seems that my list of friends is getting smaller as the years go on (and as the rings go on), so maybe it won't be that many when the day finally arrives. Either way, my point is that these b'maids will not be in charge of ANYTHING. Not even my bachelorette party. Why? As a professional bridesmaid, it has become to clear to me that no matter who is in the bridal party, there is always catty drama and everyone ends up hating each other in the end (don't worry, I have stories to back this up). Okay, not ALL wedding parties, but most of them. I refuse to let this kind of horseshit go on, I will be planning everything and you will all be required to show up. Done. I think that sounds like a pretty sweet deal for them considering the BS that I've had to put with, right?

- My 30th birthday party is going to be my "wedding" - just to give you all a heads up. Yeah...I don't care how obnoxious it is. Suck it.

- I'm not sure why I haven't gotten a call from Steven Tyler yet since we made friends a couple weeks ago.

- I keep hearing stories about people getting married and suddenly being miserable or cheating on each other. I feel like people don't really get what they are doing when they get engaged. Like, it doesn't end after the super fun wedding you planned...you're kind of stuck with them for life. Duh! Idiots. This makes me so happy that I'm single, believe it or not.

- I rule. You drool.