Deep Thoughts by Laine B

- I've had a lot of people offer to set me up on dates lately, mainly my old neighbors, and I've politely declined. Want to know why? Because I'm exhausted, that's why. Every single blind date that I've been set up for has not gone well and I just don't think that's the answer to my singleness. Only one date...ONE...was acceptable and actually met most of my standards and he didn't like me! That's an awesome story that I'm not ready to write about yet, but I will soon. Don't worry. So anyways, yeah, unless it's someone AWESOME, I'm not willing to take any chances at the moment. However, I am not really accomplishing much by sitting on my duff either...hmmmm...

- If I ever get married, I'll end up having a shit ton of bridesmaids because I won't want to leave anyone out. Although, it seems that my list of friends is getting smaller as the years go on (and as the rings go on), so maybe it won't be that many when the day finally arrives. Either way, my point is that these b'maids will not be in charge of ANYTHING. Not even my bachelorette party. Why? As a professional bridesmaid, it has become to clear to me that no matter who is in the bridal party, there is always catty drama and everyone ends up hating each other in the end (don't worry, I have stories to back this up). Okay, not ALL wedding parties, but most of them. I refuse to let this kind of horseshit go on, I will be planning everything and you will all be required to show up. Done. I think that sounds like a pretty sweet deal for them considering the BS that I've had to put with, right?

- My 30th birthday party is going to be my "wedding" - just to give you all a heads up. Yeah...I don't care how obnoxious it is. Suck it.

- I'm not sure why I haven't gotten a call from Steven Tyler yet since we made friends a couple weeks ago.

- I keep hearing stories about people getting married and suddenly being miserable or cheating on each other. I feel like people don't really get what they are doing when they get engaged. Like, it doesn't end after the super fun wedding you planned...you're kind of stuck with them for life. Duh! Idiots. This makes me so happy that I'm single, believe it or not.

- I rule. You drool.