First Dates...love 'em

Since I've moved to NYC 5 or so years ago, I have had more dates than I can probably remember. Correction, more first dates than I can remember. There's really not too many times that these dates go to a second or third. Maybe a couple times, but it's very rare that they do. I'd like to blame it on the city of New York for having such douchey(how do you spell "douchy" anyway?) men, but I'm really not sure if that's it. My friends who don't live in the city tell me that NYC is the reason, but that's probably because they have nothing else to give me. As you have read, I attract some real winners. It would be great if someone could tell me why this is. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Naturally, the men usually like me and want to see me again (HA!) and I can't stand them for the reasons that you've probably read about. Most of the time, I choose to block some out (although I'm trying to jog my memory for the purpose of this blog) because either they are so awful or they just did not go the way I thought they went. Mainly, it's because they are the most horrendous dates ever.

The other night I was out with a few friends for someones going away party. I didn't really know the girl who was going away, but crashed the party anyway. It's fine. Some old co-workers were there, including this girl, Outback, with her new husband and his twin brother and WHAMMO! Memory sparked.

Outback and I worked together at my last job and became friends right away, mainly because we started around the same time and the company gave ZERO direction on what to do. However, that's neither here nor there. She was dating her now-husband at the time, so she decided that it would be great to set me up with his twin brother. We started out at the Gansevoort for drinks and then went to another swanky restaurant/lounge. He was good looking and seemed to be pretty normal so, all was going well so far. I had a few drinks (shocker) and continued to order mojitos....I was happy.

Outback and her bf decided to head home around 1 or 2ish and for some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to chill at the bar more with this guy. It was an innocent night of chatting away, so I figured it would nice. Apparently, this stage 5 clinger had a different idea when his brother left. Out of nowhere he was ALL up on my shit. I'm talkin' physicall grabbing my face and forcing it towards him. I wasn't having any of this. I'm not a huge fan of PDA's so I kept pushing him away and making it pretty clear that I wasn't going to sit at this bar and make out all night. How did I make this clear? I f'n told him flat out, of course. He was NOT getting this and I was getting more and more annoyed by the minute.

Finally, I decided that this went south pretty quickly and it was time for me to go home. He tried to convince me to stay for one more drink and by this time, I had already been drinking water for the past 30 minutes. Idiot. I go out to get a cab and he follows to share one with me, which was fine. However, this little sneak gets in the cab first and tells him to take us to his place!!! I butt right in and say "um, no, we're making 2 stops, thanks." After this, he pulls me over to him and is trying to talk me into going home with him or getting me to let him come over to my place. WTF?! Can you stop trying to rape me please? I'm really not in the mood for that buddy. I threw him off of me and booted him out of the cab when we got to his stop and shut the door ASAP (after I took the money for the cab muahahaha).

Clearly, this dude had no idea who he was dealing with. He must be used to dating complete idiots. I went into work the next day and told Outback the story and she was mortified about it. Duh. I did not see him again, until the other night, which was a time frame of about 2 years.

Funny thing about all of this is that not too long after this date occurred, I found out that another friend dated him for a bit! Either she's into that sort of thing, or he learned his lesson, I don't know.

When I saw him at this party the other night, he was all up on this other girl's spit. This girl is a little hussy too (I don't really know her too well, but the few times I've seen her, she's been hanging all over some dirtbag. So, in judgemental Laineland, she = hussy), so he probably got what he wanted...finally!! I'm assuming he hasn't changed.